Kalipuja

Most of the urban Bengalis celebrate deepawali, but to some rare and lucky people like me, who have a “desher bari aka family home in village” are blessed with the chance of celebrating Kalipuja.

My ancestral home is under Khandaghosh P.S., its an old single storied home, atleast a few hundred years old, surrounded by ruins of earlier abodes. The scenery is simply mind blowing.

On one side there is river damodar with its vast spread banks of sand and small gardens, on the other sides are ruins and empty land.

Our home lights up only five days per year, during the durgapuja, when the entire family gathers. They bring generator sets and electricians who light up the entire house. It is enveloped in darkness through out the remaining year, the only mean of light is primitive forms like lantern and candle.

I have been to the Kalipuja a few times only because the place is not very safe, but the memory of those puja is never to be erased from my heart and mind.

Kalipuja starts at midnight of the amavasya and the idol is immersed on bhaiphonta aka bhaidooj. We I, my two siblings and my uncle used to land in home at about noon of Kalipuja, after that my uncle used to leave to locate the purohit and see if the preparations are going in the right direction, and we used to fish out the pradeeps to clean them up and fill them with oil, and after the dusk has settled in, we used to place them with the help of others. I still rue the lack of a good camera, by which we could take the snap of that marvelous picture which those lighted pradeeps used to make at night.

Those of you who have a little imagination can just close your eyes and imagine a very old house surrounded by utter darkness, and only the house is lighted with simmering pradeeps, lined up beautifully against the dark sky and the dark surroundings. I still can see that scene after ten years in my mind’s eye.

After the puja used to start we used to gather in the pujamandap with handcounted villagers, who used to sacrifice the funs of crackers to attend the puja. The pujamandap used to be dimly lit, with a couple of lanterns and petromaxes (a lantern like think which burns atleast fifty times brighter). And we used to silently sit there watching the puja.

I used to slip out before the balidan, and go to the home, and sit at the gate, silently watching the people of Burdwan bursting crackers. Because the only thing between Burdwan and my village was vast bank of Damodar river and the river itself. That’s a non forgettable memory. Not a single soul any where, just me and the silent surroundings. The sky full of stars, a silent dark row of ruined rooms where once was atithishala, and our own ancestor’s abodes, a sleepy riverbank lined by trees, the sky full of light of firecrackers.

We used to return the next morning, the purohit used to take care of the puja of the remaining two days, and the bisarjan.

public image

We create our own public image, it’s a big truth which we cant deny. We often forget when we are out in public, that is in school, college or office, that the people who are judging us there are not half as much forgiving as our family members. We can get some genuine chances of self improvement in the world outside our family, if we take them we become a better human being, and if we lose them we become extremely unpopular.

I have personally noted a few which make people very quickly very unpopular. First one is one of the most common, seemingly harmless but extremely annoying in long run. That is always speaking ill of most of the people we know. This habit is extremely common, but it shows an extreme arrogance and negative mindset of the person. People often shy away from these people, because they are deadly for any one’s mental peace or self confidence. People very naturally think that if he talks ill of every one behind their back its but natural that he will speak ill of me the moment I turn my back on him. Illsayers seal their coffin themselves. These people very soon find out that excluding some very kind, patient people none speaks with them. My suggestion for these people is to realize the simple truth, no one is perfect, we human beings have more vices than virtues. Just like we see faults in others, others also see them in us. They are kind to not point them out, so, we also should try that kindness on others. Unless we see some fault that can be harmful to some one, why point them out? Why ruin some one’s day if we cant make it?

Second one is not as harmless as the first one, but its equally common, it can be called garbage truck syndrome, just like an overstuffed garbage truck sometimes spills out the garbage and makes the life of those near it miserable, these people cant check their tendency of venting out their personal frustrations on others. They make the life of those who are nearby them miserable. One fine morning, every thing is flowery and you just happen to encounter them, they either snap at you without any reason or corner you and pour out all their personal miseries till all the flowers are dead in your poor heart. These people should realize one harsh truth, our personal problems are our personal problems, the less we talk about them the better, because 45 percent of the listeners wont listen, fifty percent will laugh or make that their latest gossip topic, hardly one percent will listen and suggest a solution and the remaining four percent will store that in their brain and use it later. Experienced people say that as long as you keep a secret its your slave, the moment you set it free its your master. The same thing happens in case of most of our personal life details.

The third one is nay saying, these people always see the world in negative light, they never see any hope in any thing, especially if it is out of the routine track, and try to spread that feeling to any one near them. Go to them, discussing a new career, new course they will promptly find out half a dozen hindrances, ignoring the assets. Show them a new dress, a new gadget, all they will concentrate is on its setbacks. As a result they are usually avoided by smart and sensitive people. Because we all live with insecurities, and we can hardly tolerate a person on the long run who will aptly point them out to us, and make us even more insecured. The sooner these people realize the truth the better it is for them is its all on the way of looking at a glass half full of milk, one will call it half empty, the other will call it half full. That is the way life is too, here every rose has its thorn. As long as the rose is there no need to count the thorns. Just cherish the flower. Point out the thorns only if the rose is absent.

God may have given us the nature, status and physical appearance, but our public image is made solely by ourselves. And it can be repaired at any point of time, no matter how much we have ruined it before that, if we are sincere we can repair most of the damage if not all.

Again, its our public image by which people usually judge us, a very rare group of people know our true nature, so, its very wise to act accordingly. And the best way is to judge others, and see what we hate in them, and never do it ourselves.

manipulation

Its strange how we get manipulated in the name of love, how some times our very close persons manipulate into doing things which we never should have.

We all know that ungratefulness is one of the worst component of human nature. Even a small school going child knows it. Even then, I have made that mistake knowingly only once, and after doing that I learnt two lessons, that one act of ungratefulness haunts a person through out his life, and we can be manipulated by people we love very much for all the wrong reasons. A bitter incident taught me two invaluable lessons.

I learnt these lessons in my teenage and remembered it ever since. I had a take-take relationship with my elder sister, who was always on the receiving end, I on the giving end. I used to dote on her, and she is one the best manipulators I have ever seen. I will give her 200 marks in 100.

I slaved for her for years thanklessly, It used to freak out almost everyone who used to see us together. But I was too dumb to realize that, and she was an expert in using people for her good.

One of her friends used to visit our home every day, he was a very jolly person, and very fond of both of us. One day, I don’t know what came over him, he criticized her bitterly for using me, well, my sister told him that as I am her sister, and he is her friend so he is forbidden to talk with me ever again, and ordered me the same.

At that age, we used to listen to our elders blindly (She was three years senior than me), so I obeyed her, he came to meet me while she was away and I dictated her order to him like a robot.

That is one decision which has stung me ever since, especially after knowing my sister’s nature and rejecting her.

I should have never done that, he was my well wisher, and it must have taken him a lot of courage to stand against a friend he cared for so much, he used to daily visit her no matter what, and he lost her friendship for that standing up, and the person who he stood up for turned out to be pretty ungrateful.

That incident taught me two lessons at eighteen years of age, one, never be ungrateful to any one who has done you some good, if you have to walk away, do it with grace, keeping in mind that he has been your benefactor.

You will kill a marvelous relationship, and no matter how much you try to find a scapegoat for that murder, you will never be able to blame any one but you. You may name some one as who misguided you, but the pinch will remain there.

And the second one is, no matter how much you love some one, never blindly act on his or her words. Always apply your own judgment and reasoning. Be guided by your own brain, heart and soul. Because its your life, you should make yourself capable of holding its helm. Stumbling, falling, and getting hurt occasionally does not makes you a failure. If you stand up and walk on your own again, every fall teaches you how strong you are. Its really painful to be manipulated by some one to do some thing which you would never have done. Its better to do the same thing by yourself, because in that case you will suffer the consequences with dignity, knowing that you reaped what you sowed.

Ungratefulness

Ungratefulness, its one of the deadliest poisons for any relationship, we often take those people who love us the most as granted. We start to ignore their helps, good deeds or worse, show our ingratitude or hurt them in return of those things. We start to think that they are nice to us because we are some thing special. We become so egoistical that we ignore the truth that may be they are nice to us because they are noble or sweet.

I don’t remember when I have done it last, I learnt the lesson in my teenage and remembered it ever since. I had a take-take relationship with my elder sister, who was always on the receiving end, I on the giving end.

It used to freak out almost everyone who used to see us together. But I was too dumb to realize that, and she was an expert in using people for her good.

One of her friends used to visit our home every day, he was a very jolly person, and very fond of both of us. One day, I don’t know what came over him, he criticized her bitterly for using me, well, my sister told him that as I am her sister, and he is her friend so he is forbidden to talk with me ever again, and ordered me the same.

At that age, we used to listen to our elders blindly (She was three years senior than me), so I obeyed her, he came to meet me while she was away and I dictated her order to him like a robot.

That is one decision which has stung me ever since, especially after knowing my sister’s nature and rejecting her.

I should have never done that, he was my well wisher, and it must have taken him a lot of courage to stand against a friend he cared for so much, he used to daily visit her no matter what, and he lost her friendship for that standing up, and the person who he stood up for turned out to be pretty ungrateful.

That incident taught me one lesson at eighteen years of age, never be ungrateful to any one who has done you some good, if you have to walk away, do it with grace, keeping in mind that he has been your benefactor.

You will kill a marvelous relationship, and no matter how much you try to find a scapegoat for that murder, you will never be able to blame any one but you. You may name some one as who misguided you, but the pinch will remain there.

Twisted jealousy

Twisted form of jealousy is most highlighted by human civilization, we usually think that jealousy means destructive jealousy. I already discussed that there can be a thing called harmless jealousy. It may be more intense than destructive jealousy, but does not causes any harm, but often profits the person who carries it.

Destructive jealousy is the reason behind this passion being looked down upon, or the reason why people hate jealous people, or keep away from them.

This nature is quite common, its not a freak incident that one sibling tiptoes in another’s room while she is in college and splatters some drops of ink on her favourite dress, because every one complimented her how gorgeous she looked in that dress, while no one complimented her. We can get hundreds of example from people around us. I used to know a woman who had millions of qualities but she was so blindly jealous of her younger sister’s looks that she left no stone unturned to ruin her, and finally succeeded.

Most of the jealousies are more or less destructive, just like any blind passion jealousy too has a strange way of taking unchartered, ugly courses. Like a thing which started as a jealous tiff ended up in a life scarring damage. Jealousy is a power which if turned to positive direction it always makes us a better person, and if turned to the negative direction it makes a demon out of a normal person.

The happiest hunting field of jealousy is career world. Because, here it can experiment on various grounds, looks, charisma, expertise …. the list never ends. And this is the place where objects of jealousy suffer most. Because career world does not have moral obligations, we don’t have to answer our loved ones why we ruined our sister’s favourite dress. We can do whatever we want there, and then return home to our loved ones after completely whitewashing ourselves.

You will hear so many stories, those of you who cant convince others that you are suffering from someone’s hidden jealousy, let me share a story to make you confident, if not those who don’t trust you.

One of my close friends used to work for a really big company, in the post of senior marketing executive, he was heading for the post of branch head, he had to make an presentation and hold it the very next day. He stayed up late and prepared the presentation and made the blunder of not keeping a copy with him, the next day when he turned up a couple of hours before time, he saw that some one has formatted his machine, no one could find it out who has done it, but some body did. He managed that presentation by making a patchwork type of presentation. But, he immediately changed the job. Still that incident was a black spot on his till date spotless career. No one will believe that one of your colleagues formatted your machine without any rhyme or reason, will they? But this is how jealousy works. Normal people will never understand how jealous mind works, and that gives them an undue advantage.

No one can change a jealous person’s nature, he will have to do it himself, he will have to choose whether he will take the positive route or negative route to appease this demon. Being a full blooded leo, I have this passion in full fledge, but ever since my early childhood I have taken care that I mould it to the positive direction. I always used to compete with those who were better than me and invest my energy in not pulling them down but upgrade myself. People often compliment me on my handwriting, when I was in class four, a girl of my class had marvelous handwriting, the entire class was crazy about that, that made me practice eight to ten pages of handwriting each (for Hindi, English and Bengali) per day for next four years, as a result my writing was almost always without mistake. I think its alright to be jealous, but its disgusting to hurt or harm the object of jealousy.
In the end, I don’t know how to combat the jealousy of a jealous person, wont mind a few tips on that account.

Jealousy

Jealousy… its one of the worst enemies of a relationship, in one hand it shows that the relationship really exist, on the other hand it sometimes chokes or poisons it.

We will never feel jealous if a stranger dotes on his daughter, but if our father prefers our sister we can get jealous. The thing which matters is whether or not we can control it.

As I was a passionate person when I was younger, I cant saintly say that jealousy does not exists, or true love does not knows what jealousy is.

I believe in more humane explanation, I believe all passions are present in human beings in more or less quantity, and when a single passion overcomes all other passions then it becomes that person’s nature. If love rules over all other passions, that person is called angel. If hatred then most probably devil, and if jealousy then simply jealous.

Ok, jokes apart, I will rather go by examples, and who can be a better example than myself? When I was younger, in my youth, I used to be extreme possessive. With age I have become a lot more well mannered, as I have learnt simple rules of life, you can make yourself love anyone, but you cant make any one love you. Intelligent people know when to let go.

But in those ignorant days when some one I truly loved say for example my pet dog, used to prefer some one else on me, I used to go green, and grab her and bring her to my room (like selfish giant …. all mine)and try to keep her there. Its useless to say that she used to slip out again the moment she could.

Now, when I look back, I laugh. But at that time I was serious. Now I have learnt that loving does not mean owning. I raised her from one month baby, she stayed with us for 11 years, so any one can guess how attached I was to her. She used to follow me like a shadow, and share my bed. Still, I now think that I was silly.

Just think what would have happened if she was not a loyal, non questioning dog? What if she were human being? She would have thrown me out of her life at the first chance.

Jealousy in a controlled way makes a relationship spicy, adds some value to it, but uncontrolled, rhymeless jealousy makes live miserable.

A jealous person can never be happy, because that fire of suspicion and jealousy keeps burning inside his heart, depriving him from enjoying the beauties of the relationship itself, or the other beauties of the world.

unselfish love

The deep blue ocean was rolling in front of her eyes, waves with white foam on their brow softly touching the shores, and then retreating back, like a small child swinging back and forth in a swing.

She was staring at the horizon where equally deep blue sky has come down to touch the ocean. A strange serenity was settling inside her, she has strived for this inner peace for so long, and it came down upon her soul all of a sudden.

Her trance was broken by a tender touch on her shoulder, she turned back and saw her husband’s smiling face and stood up to hug him. He hugged her back with firm tenderness, they sat down side by side watching the ocean, her head on his shoulder and his arms around her.

Smirna closed her eyes, a deep feeling of peace enveloped her. A peace she never thought she will be blessed again with. She was born and brought up in a small town, her father passed away when she was a baby, and mother was a housewife, with minimum knowledge of world. Who brought up her only daughter with a very strong sense of ethics and religious values, her relatives used to tease her as sanyasini because of her spiritual nature. She also passed away leaving her alone in a joint abode, a home occupied by three brothers of her father, and their children. Who were neither kind nor unkind to her.

Her misfortune started when the eyes of a political hotshot fell on her, he was married, but he strongly believed money and power talk. Which Smirna did not, so his chase failed, but it flustered him to the limit of rage. He took each and every attempt to bent her as per his wishes but could not, even though he succeeded in ruining her reputation and possibilities of staying in that home. Because her extended family, sensing the danger if they invite his wrath, became extremely hostile toward her, and she had to leave that place.

She applied for the job of a school teacher in South India, to her pleasant surprise it was based on a seaside town. It became her daily routine to take a stroll on the beach. One day when she was taking her stroll a storm broke out and she ran to a nearby house and took shelter under the balcony. But she got soaked up all the same because of strong gusts.

After a few minutes she heard the door opening, she turned back and saw a guy walking out to the porch, he was extremely ugly in worldly measurement but had a strange serene expression, and a deep glow of inner goodness.

He softly said that she can wait inside, if she did not feel unsafe with a single, stranger. When she gently refused he disappeared inside and on resurfacing handed over her a towel. A few minute later he brought out a tray of tea. He requested her to take a seat on the chairs which were there, and brought down a polythene sheet to prevent raindrops from wetting her further.

He escorted her to the school gate because when the rain stopped it was pretty dark, she thanked him with all her heart, and felt his noble nature deep within her heart. While walking back to her room she was comparing him to those dirty guys who came into her life after that scoundrel who made her life miserable. She could not see any similarity. She remembered with terror another thing, that she gulped down the tea with gratitude when he handed it to her, but he might have spiked it. Two drops of tear welled up in her eyes.

Next day while having her stroll she glanced eagerly yet shyly at the balcony and saw him sitting there, she smiled at him and he smiled back, then asked if she will mind his joining her on her walks, she responded with a shy and happy smile.

They started to walk, within one month Smirna realized that Shantanu was one of those persons who have been brought up with best cultures, one day during an emotional outburst he shared that he was in airforce, a horrible accident took away every thing from him, including his capacity to please a mate, so he forced his fiancé to marry and retired here. He bought this house from his savings. Both his parents has passed away, so he lives here on his own. And he finds it very relaxing, because he doesnot have to answer same set of questions to every one, including strangers.

Their friendship started to get deeper with each passing day, one day while she was coming back from school to her rooms a colleague caught up with her. She gently informed Smirna that the parents of pupils were talking about her relationship with Shantanu and giving it names. Smirna was shocked but she knew society, so she did not went out for her walk that day.

She was pleasantly surprised when the watchman came telling her that Shantanu was waiting for her in the main gate. She quickly changed and went out to meet him, on seeing her a deep peace settled itself on his worried face. After asking about her well being he asked her why had she not showed up. She could not answer. Shantanu explained the reason to her, he said as he has been living in this place for more than ten years he knows the people well.

Then he asked Smirna that why does not she marries and settles down she has long crossed her thirties, if she further delays it she may stay alone for the rest of her life. She shared all her past life with him, how that scoundrel has chased her for years which ended up in a hatred for men, and their ethics as a husband.

Shantanu gently held her hand for the first time and said that is what happened when pure evil tries to overpower pure goodness, he never wins, but the wounds he lefts behind never heal.

He gently held her hand a little more firmly and asked her if she can be his life partner, he will let her go the very day she will find some one else who will win her heart. Ever since he has met her he is finding it next to impossible to spend a single day without her. He will be able to offer her the social protection and she will be able to give him the long lost human companionship, and they both will be friends forever.

Smirna gently held his hand with both of her hands.

Seven years have passed since that day, and she has never regretted her decision for a second.

blessed times!

Since my first memories, Durgapuja was the occasion for which we waited the year through. Durgapuja meant waking up when stars were still shining in the sky and cross the lawn to reach the siuli trees, leaving marks of bare foot on dew covered grass, where the grass was covered with siuli flowers, that has dropped with the dew, all night through. The air used to be heavy with the fragrance of my forever favourite flower. We used to pick them up so we can take them to the para puja. Which used to be held in our school’s hall. Where we used to hand them over to older didis, who used to make garlands.

Then I returned home to West Bengal, and Durgapuja took a far more important role in my life, then the waiting for the next puja started from Vijayadashami, when we used to watch out from our terrace, with tears in our eyes the men of our family carrying away the Devipratima for bisarjan to Damodar.

Our Durgapuja started from Mahashasti evening when Madurga is invited down to the body of the idol, it is called pranpratishtha. It’s the most important part of durgapuja in old families, and I never missed it. During those hours, it appeared that slowly Madurga is coming down to the clay idol and transforming it to herself.

Next morning, very early, the dhakis make a round near the panchmundi asan, (an asan, where our family believes that one of our ancestors was able to see Makali), waking up those who want to go to pujadalan, slowly we come around, only a handful of us on other days, and all the men on saptami, because they have to go to the river while the purohit fills up the mangalghat, the symbol of madurga, in our family, that mangalghat symbolizes the bringing home of deities. And we, those handcounted women who wake up either head for lakshmir ghar (the room where malakhshmi stays, that is the room where all the preparations of any puja are done, its an elaborate affair believe me), or for the equally important affair of gathering flowers to prepare garland, I belonged to the latter part. While we gathered flowers we used to keep our ears open, because the moment we could hear the dhaks approaching toward home from distant we had to run for two kamandalus, by which two of the women used to rinse the path of the mangalghat, while it approached the pujadalan. After that, we used to get busy in stitching garlands of flower, tulsi and belpatti, that was quite a long affair, because the numbers were huge. Then we had to run for bath, because the arati and pushpanjali was to follow. After that, elders used to stay in the pujadalan because of Hoam , we used to head for the hall, to eat. Then fun with extended family for the rest of the day, and evening meant a lot of cajoling then we used to wear the new dress, and head for the sandhyarati.

Ashtami meant sandhipuja’s anjali. 108 lotus, an arati of madurga with 108 pradeeps. One of the most waited for moments for us. I was one of the permanent candidates for sandhipuja anjali, no matter when it fell. In our home anjali meant a fasting without drinking a drop of water, forget about food. Yet, whenever the sandhi kshan fell, a lot of candidates were sure to show up.

Next mahanavami, sadness had already caught up with us. Apart from the regular puja, mahanavami meant a special hoam, a hoam is held in our home every day of durgapuja, but mahanavami hoam is special, 108 belpattis are offered to agni, we all have to be present, when the 108th belpatti is offered to agni, the senior most member of our family touches the purohit (which is strictly prohibited otherwise), and we touch him through a chain. That is one person touches him, then those around him touch him and so on, so that the chain is universal. After hoam, we are given tilaks with the ashes of that hoam. Mahanavami sandhyarati is the longest one, yet our hearts never get satisfied with it.

Then comes the Vijayadashami, the final puja is performed and then the mangalghat is tilted a little by the purohit, that means bidding farewell to the Mother. After that a special ritual called kanakanjali is performed and the men (now the women too) write down the name of madurga 108 times on belpattis, these are immersed with the devipratima. And the purohit ties a piece of aparajta branch on right wrist of every one who writes the name. Then after a while mangalghat gets immersed in the river.

Then the evening came, the devipratima is taken out, we change our clothes and touch the feet of the idol, then She is carried away by the carriers towed by men of our family, while we head for the roof, to see it as far as we can. And wait for the next year with tears in our eyes.

Even though I have not been there since long, yet those days of divine purity are never away from me. No matter, where I am my soul always go there during these five days. And these five days are always the best five days of my life. So, on vijayadashami, just like all Bengalis, I can say, aashchhe bachhar aabar habe. Shubho Vijayadashami to all, may the blessings of the eternal mother shower down on all of you!

Law abiding Indians

I still remember a classmate in my college days, who received a solid lecture from me, because at that time I was outspoken. But he some how gave me the hint of Indian society. We were good friends, he was from Durgapur and used to come to Burdwan to attend college. One day, while we were talking he started to childishly boast that he never buys tickets because he thinks that first Railways should run trains on time, and arrange for minimum amenities on the train then only should they ask for a fare. I told him that the thing which he is doing is stealing, taking a ride without paying for it. Railways have never begged him to take a ride, he is taking it because he needs it. He needs Railways not the other way round. And Indian Railway is too cheap. We did not agreed on that point.

Second instance of over obedience of Indians to law and order came when Bhagabati Prasad Banerjee banned cracking of loud crackers, I too used to love them, but he pointed out the way it harasses people and I also realized it. So I and a lot of my friends stopped it. But the people of his neighbourhood cracked loudest crackers around his home the night through. So sweet of them.

Third is the ban of smoking in public places, any person with conscience will agree that these people are SELFISH who don’t mind to make pay others for their temporary fun. The way the majority of them act shows that, when they are standing in a queue or sitting beside the window they don’t mind lighting up and passing the entire smoke to all around them, forget about taking permission, they don’t even try to channel the smoke in a manner that it does not kill the lungs of those around him. The thing that Dr. Ramadoss did was very right. But to my greatest mirth I observed that more and more people are smoking in the public place. So very docile of them.

It’s a shame the way so called educated people make fun of law and order. No wonder that India is so high on corruption scale. These incidents if seriously taken they will reflect the Indian mindset. We love to break rules. We think its heroism, but actually it reflects our bad taste. When government is making a law we should first judge its logics, and if it is logical, as both ban on smoking and sound pollution is, we should be decent enough to abide it.

We are becoming addicted to going against the law. Ultimately we will end up like African nations where one coup ends and another starts. Law and Rules are made to make the society more habitable. They are not things to be played with especially by educated persons.

snobs

We will see them all around us, everywhere. There are a lot of ways to point them out if we try. My instincts say keep away from these people, because they are the worst thing that can ever happen to human society.

I am a reader, reader by choice, one of those people who read a lot but just according to their fancy, no methodical reading for me.

I stumbled upon MSN archive in 2006 and am here ever since. There are few really good writers, and some amateurs, I really hope that in future the editorial team will grade the articles before publishing them. That will help us in selecting articles. Some times we miss good articles, foot falls hardly count in assessing a good article. I have another request, they can give this website a professional touch keeping in mind the huge footfalls its creating. So many writers and their friends and colleagues must be regular viewers of the site. So they can make it a little more professional and give it a special touch, like making the list of authorwise article more complete and accessible etc, and categorizing the articles and authors.

Well back to the original topic, snobs, I will only pick out three topics, all three are based on the articles I have read in MSN one is the response to terrorism. As a normal human being I too condemn any sort of terrorism. That’s but natural, but exactly the reason for which I condemn terrorism, I condemn the killing of terrorists too. They are also human beings, misguided but human being, they need psychiatric treatment not bullet. Food on their plate, social upliftment. Those who preach these people patriotism, have they ever seen the penury in which Muslims live? They don’t have minimum facilities, yet they are honest at the most. I have seen muslims from close sector, so I wont take any superficial preaching from any one. These people who bay for the blood of terrorists may be termites in real life, taking bribe, doing other criminal things, killing the country silently, but they put up a mask and pelt the first stone. Where as people like Dr. Vaidyanathan who have been doing constructive things for years look for a peaceful way out for everyone. Should we all not be looking for that?

Second is male bashing, yes, I am a woman, and quite proud to be one, I am one of those women who did not married by choice because I don’t need any man to take care of me. But if I had I would have married a demand-less guy, would not have expected him to carry me like a burden, I would have loved to have a daughter instead of son. But even after being extremely proud of my gender, I will never deny the fact that in married life either the husband is abused or the wife, atleast one them is the ruler of the roost. There are hand-counted relationships where both treat each other as equals. So why do men try to prove that only they are abused and vice versa? Its utterly ridiculous in my eyes. Come on, my comment is based on my own experiences and I don’t belong to Mars. Is it not abuse to taunt one’s wife every alternate day for not bringing dowry? Is it not abuse to taunt one’s husband every day for not earning as much as her brother in law does? Or not setting up an accommodation separately? When we deny truth and pretend we are right and every one else (even if he is speaking the truth) is wrong, then we become snob. No matter how loud we cry, we will not become true, we will stay snob.

Third one is the worldly acknowledged gay/lesbian community. I have written about them a couple of times. And received some harsh comments. That only showed the snobbery which rules Indian mindset. My only question is gay/lesbians are hated all over India like they are doing some thing extremely loathsome. What if they feel the same about straights? Do these people who hate them so much are rinsed with milk? The scary rate of sexual crime does not say so. Forget about the unreported ones. Most of these crimes are done by straights, not gay/lesbians. What about that?

Will the world should not be far better if we look inside our souls and clean it before picking up the stone and pelting it at others?

Lately the trend of Indian society seems to be concentrating on the faults of others, ignoring their own lacking? Every where we will hear about corruption, but if all these people who talk against corruption were honest themselves, would it have been possible that the level of corruption had been so high in the country?

If all these people who talk about discrimination against women, abuse of human rights, evils of dowry and caste system were speaking through their actions these things would have been on the verge of eradication by now.

We have copied so much from West, now we can learn some ethics from them, how to live without wearing mask. How to be inside out.