sympathy

Those of us who are regular readers of things happening around them, or listeners/viewers of the same may have noted the alarming way in which suicide or psychiatric disorders are in an upward surge.

Most of the suicides happen because a broken heart did not had any one he/she could confide into. We all have formed a cocoon around us which some times includes our close people, a cocoon of warmth and happiness. And outside it is usually a sphere of cold formality. That is most probably one of the main reason behind such an upward shooting of mental and psychiatric disorder.

Even twenty years ago depressed people were able to confide into their friends, relatives, or some times stark strangers. But now, depressed or lonely people have to fight their own fight. Inter-human relationships were not as complicated as they have become these days. People have become far more mechanical and complex these days, before joining career world they are busy to build a career and after getting a career they are busy in it. They hardly have REAL time to spend with other human beings. So, when some one tries to reach for his hand he has to either look at his watch whether he has time, or look inside his heart whether he has the heart to digest some one else’s pain.

We have forgotten one thing that we should take out some time out of our crazy life to spend it with other human being, completely unselfishly. Who can say some words spoken from our heart may turn around a life from the path of direction. But before doing that we will have to understand one thing, what are we bargaining for. Because pain and misery is a thing which some times swallows the sympathetic ear.

There are two major types of miserable people, one are those who really are miserable and need company and the second are those who suffer from self pity. The number of the second category is lot more than the first category, hence we some times treat the genuinely needy persons harshly, assuming that he is suffering from self pity and curse ourselves for the rest of the life.

All we can do is practice some patience and kindness. I am not asking you to become a complain box, but if a person is forever pouring down his woes at you, first analyze his personality, then analyze his problems and you will get the answer from within whether to offer him your hand or ask him to strengthen himself so he could face day to day problems of life.

If that person is a strong person going through a bad patch, he will get the hint and walk straight. But if he is a weak person he will keep on complaining, in that case you can slowly distance yourself. But with diplomacy, because nothing is gained from hurting a person whose chips are down.

I have met such friends twice, first one was Steve, who was beside me at the darkest patch of my life as a guiding star or may be more than that. After a while when he got exhausted of my problems he slowly disappeared, but not before teaching to look at the positive sides of life, and teaching me how to stand my own.

The second friend came after Steve distanced himself, I distanced myself from him because of his repeated berating comments but not before he taught me an invaluable thing. I was going through a really nasty patch of life at that time, a thing which was happening but was not because of my fault and was far beyond my control. He taught me to meditate every day without fail, and THAT WORKED LIKE A MIRACLE. Slowly I rediscovered myself, the old strength and poise which were always a part of my nature came back to me, and with thousand times more strength. Even though my friendship with him is over for the rest of my life but whenever I sit down to meditate I pray for him too. So if you become a friend to a miserable person be like Steve or atleast my second friend.