sympathy

Those of us who are regular readers of things happening around them, or listeners/viewers of the same may have noted the alarming way in which suicide or psychiatric disorders are in an upward surge.

Most of the suicides happen because a broken heart did not had any one he/she could confide into. We all have formed a cocoon around us which some times includes our close people, a cocoon of warmth and happiness. And outside it is usually a sphere of cold formality. That is most probably one of the main reason behind such an upward shooting of mental and psychiatric disorder.

Even twenty years ago depressed people were able to confide into their friends, relatives, or some times stark strangers. But now, depressed or lonely people have to fight their own fight. Inter-human relationships were not as complicated as they have become these days. People have become far more mechanical and complex these days, before joining career world they are busy to build a career and after getting a career they are busy in it. They hardly have REAL time to spend with other human beings. So, when some one tries to reach for his hand he has to either look at his watch whether he has time, or look inside his heart whether he has the heart to digest some one else’s pain.

We have forgotten one thing that we should take out some time out of our crazy life to spend it with other human being, completely unselfishly. Who can say some words spoken from our heart may turn around a life from the path of direction. But before doing that we will have to understand one thing, what are we bargaining for. Because pain and misery is a thing which some times swallows the sympathetic ear.

There are two major types of miserable people, one are those who really are miserable and need company and the second are those who suffer from self pity. The number of the second category is lot more than the first category, hence we some times treat the genuinely needy persons harshly, assuming that he is suffering from self pity and curse ourselves for the rest of the life.

All we can do is practice some patience and kindness. I am not asking you to become a complain box, but if a person is forever pouring down his woes at you, first analyze his personality, then analyze his problems and you will get the answer from within whether to offer him your hand or ask him to strengthen himself so he could face day to day problems of life.

If that person is a strong person going through a bad patch, he will get the hint and walk straight. But if he is a weak person he will keep on complaining, in that case you can slowly distance yourself. But with diplomacy, because nothing is gained from hurting a person whose chips are down.

I have met such friends twice, first one was Steve, who was beside me at the darkest patch of my life as a guiding star or may be more than that. After a while when he got exhausted of my problems he slowly disappeared, but not before teaching to look at the positive sides of life, and teaching me how to stand my own.

The second friend came after Steve distanced himself, I distanced myself from him because of his repeated berating comments but not before he taught me an invaluable thing. I was going through a really nasty patch of life at that time, a thing which was happening but was not because of my fault and was far beyond my control. He taught me to meditate every day without fail, and THAT WORKED LIKE A MIRACLE. Slowly I rediscovered myself, the old strength and poise which were always a part of my nature came back to me, and with thousand times more strength. Even though my friendship with him is over for the rest of my life but whenever I sit down to meditate I pray for him too. So if you become a friend to a miserable person be like Steve or atleast my second friend.

golden lyrics are gone

I love music, it’s a part of my life, or may be the very blood in my vein, a day without music hardly comes to my life. But my love for music is not universal I listen to music without discrimination for the first few times, but like and repeat songs with good tune, lyrics and singer. These are life blood for a good, memorable song to me. A song does not come to life if the lyric is not good, the tune heart stirring and the singer capable of bringing life to it.

Whenever I listen to the modern songs I truly pine for the lyrics and the singers of past days. A lot of music directors expertly copy the hit and melodious songs from west, so the tune part is not bland, but the lyrics and singers are hardly comparable to the singers or lyricists of my younger days.

Where as the latest trend seems to scoop good melodies from west, then hand them over to the lyricists to prepare lyrics that fits that tune. The more meaningless a song is, the more suspicious it makes me that it’s a copy of some western tune. There is such a vast collection of western music that it is not possible to catch the thieve until you have yourself heard the song too many time, even then its not that easy to catch.

Even now when I listen to the songs of Md. Rafi or earlier artists I realize what lyrics means and how a singer can put life to a song. Those songs made us laugh and cry with them, fall in love with them, made us searching our own reflection/loved one’s reflection in them. Who will not love to sing “Chaudavee ka chand ho…” for his lover or “Ai nargise mastana..”

Its strange how artistic side of human civilization is on a downward sweep, I have stopped reading (please read repeating) Bengali literature after saradindu, English literature after Louis L’ Amour. Hindi? Well even though I know Hindi thoroughly but I don’t read Hindi literature, never did on my own, just read the text book stuff and some additional things like Munshi Premchand or magazines or novels and hated the last two categories, they are mostly insult to literature. Modern Bengali literature, I hardly repeat the stories of modern writers, but even now I read books by Bankimchandra or Saratchandra eagerly.

In field of arts we will observe the same. And music, the lesser said is better. Only field which is out of the path of this downward sweep is Hollywood. They have maintained a standard till date, and some of their works is really excellent.

I wonder if we will see the upward surge too. The upward surge of creativity after it hits the bottom.

Arrogance

It is usually called vice but I think that it can work as a friend or foe, depending on how we use it. If we want to live an isolated life in the crowd, it can work wonder. We all have to live in the society, but all of us are not social, some of us want to live a reserved life, and over curious people make the life of these solitude seekers miserable.

Politeness does not work with every one, there are too many overcurious people, who will not put full stop to their questions. They don’t care about the feeling or disapproval of others. They will just ask questions and forget the answers within half an hour, and will ask again.

To elaborate further, I can share a personal experience, I will never forget a woman and her daughter, I was a tenant in their house just after my mother passed away, they used to barge their entry in my rooms ten times a day and the major topic of their discussion was the detailed story of my mother’s passing away. Their curiosity never ended, they used to ask the same question every alternate day ignoring the extreme pain they were causing, finally I had to take up the above stance, instead of giving polite answers to their cruel questions I started to show them cold shoulder and a great deal of arrogance.

It worked wonders on my mental peace, even though they broadcasted to every one they knew that I was arrogant, but I was happy. They stopped asking me those extremely painful questions because they knew I wont answer. And after observing its success I started to use this mask. These days, wherever I go, I only answer what I feel like answering. In case of normal people the answer is true, but in case of overcurious people the answer is not necessarily the truth. I just say whatever pleases me, or whatever crosses my mind. My simple policy is to know my personal details you will have to prove you are earnest and worthy. There are so many people in this world who live their life as quiz masters, the sole reason behind their existence seems to ask people questions.

You can never know when the information you have innocently shared will be used against you. So, its really wise in today’s overcrowded world to keep our mouth shut. We have to mix with at least a couple of dozens people on daily basis, its better to maintain a smile and hi for most of them, and chit chat with the remaining. Only time will tell who are worthy of being shared our personal details with. Our best friends can become our worst enemies overnight and use our secrets against us, forget about casual acquaintances who don’t feel any moral obligation toward us. In case of majority people arrogance works wonder, it gives you some time to select the people you want to mix with.

You can always use arrogancy as a weapon to keep people you don’t like to keep away from you without hurting their ego, and turning them into your enemy. Because they will be able to openly call you wrong and disgusting, but will keep away from you all the same. And allow only those you like to get near you.

A rose

A rose
November 27 2007
A rose among thorns,
A noble heart that knew only loving,
A gentle soul that knew only giving,
So many times he was pricked by the lusty thorns
Surrounding that red fragrant rose
His heart,
One day he thought he will change,
Wont let any one make a fool of him again,
He was hell bent to go to hell
When he heard a voice sweet
He looked in his petals and saw a fairy sweet,
She said in a voice gentle serene
If you become thorn where shall I dwell

friendship

November 24 2007
friendship
Friendship is like a harbour in the dark ocean of life
When the waves hit the boat
In the dark of night
No moon no stars in sight
The tired boatman just wants a place to hide
He gently rows his boat to the harbour to have some respite
Just like that when things go rough
people make our going tough
We turn to that special person
The person who stays forever like the silent harbour
To shelter our tired spirit from the harsh going on of life

some thoughts

December 14 2007
some thoughts
some thoughts hidden deep inside us
too dear to be said out loud
or to be whispered to some friend
who may let them out to scatter in wind,
they are like flowers which bloom
in the darkness of night,
under the stars
loved by the moon and dew drops
and wither away with the light
the harsh sunrays of reality, disclosure
bruise their tender body and they fade
so they should be let alone
in the soft, dark warmth of heart
so the person who truly cares
will just close his eyes and
feel the fragrance of that
unspoken thought, untold word

when you were busy chasing butterflies

June 15 2008
when you were busy chasing butterflies
When that person called you up at odd times,
then you were busy having fun with persons you liked,
Those who filled your days with fun and laughter,
make your hours turn into enchanting seconds…..

That one call used to bring a little lull in those enchanted moments,
You some times pick up the phone and say some thing polite,
Some times you did not and later give him some half hearted alibi..

Then one day your butterflies flew away to other pastures,
Leaving behind only sweet memories and empty hours,
you turn around to search for that person who has pestered…

All you could see was a shadow disappearing in distant horizon,
Love came, knocked your door, waited for you and departed rejected,
When you were busy chasing butterflies the flower of your life withered